


soft patters of the rain calm me

by sepgu_96line



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of making out, Mutual Pining, but it's mostly in juho's pov, but they're cutely in love so it's fine, pity taeyang tho, poor boy, they're both dumbasses, they're infuriatingly dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25435300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sepgu_96line/pseuds/sepgu_96line
Summary: Juho loves a lot of things. He loves the sound of the rain, he loves coffee, he loves the company of others. But there's one thing that he keeps wanting to deny he loves. It's that he loves Seokwoo
Relationships: Baek Juho | Zuho/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	soft patters of the rain calm me

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a while since i uploaded something here. i have returned with another zuwoon fic :3

Juho had always found the soft patter of the rain to be calming, the sound of it relaxing his jumbled up mind. He would always be perched by a window with a hot cup of coffee in his hands as he calmed his state of mind. Sometimes he would be alone, but most of the times he would be with Seokwoo. The giant had always been there for him even during their trainee days, and vice versa. They were inseparable, Seokwoo and Juho. The ’96 line, the chaotic calm duo, the duo that liked to bully each other but refused to let others bully them.

2017 was the year that started something that Juho wished had never even existed. It was Seokwoo’s first ever acting gig and though he wasn’t a big role in the drama, he had gotten really excited. Juho was at the company’s studio when the news broke out and him being the workaholic that he was, didn’t even bother to check the tons of congratulatory messages in the group chat. Hell, he wouldn’t have even moved if it wasn’t for the fact that someone was rapidly knocking on the door. “It’s open!” he hollered, not bothering to get up from his workspace. He only turned to see who had interrupted him when he heard the door being opened. He turned fully in his chair when he saw Seokwoo popping his head into the room, a huge grin spread wide across his face. “Hey, what’s up?” Juho asked as he watched Seokwoo enter the room.

“Nothing,” said Seokwoo, deliberately looking away with the grin from earlier still visible. “Just thought I’d visit my best friend, is all.” Juho couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow at the other’s statement.

“I call bullshit. You never visit my studio unless you wanna eat ramen or you have something to tell me. It’s not the former because you don’t have any ramen with you, so what’s up?” Seokwoo gave him a pout.

“Meanie. I forgot that you’re my best friend, of course you’re gonna know.”

“Hey-“

“I got the job.” Seokwoo’s sudden announcement rendered Juho speechless. The silence between them was too long that it made the taller boy fidget with the sleeves of his black hoodie nervously. “I mean, I can turn it down but-“ He didn’t have time to finish his sentence before Juho had pounced him, knocking both of them off their feet and sending them both crashing onto the small couch in the room, Seokwoo trapped underneath Juho’s grasp. Juho pulled away from the hug and looked down at the younger with twinkling eyes.

“Oh my god, I’m so proud of you!” he exclaimed. Juho had known how much Seokwoo wanted to take up acting, how his best friend would recite random lines from his favorite drama with passion gleaming in his eyes. So for him to hear that Seokwoo got the part, even though it was a small tole, Juho felt immense pride for the man that was in his embrace. Seokwoo rolled his eyes at the producer.

“Dumbass, you didn’t even check your phone. They’ve been talking about it non-stop in the group chat.”

“They have?” That earned him a smack on the arm from Seokwoo. He let out a yelp from the pain.

“Gee, I don’t know, have they?” the taller deadpanned.

“Hey, technically I’m still older than you, so you have to respect me.”

“Psh, you’re older by like a few weeks, shut up.” Juho faked an exasperated gasp.

“I’m offended.”

“I’m glad that you are, old man.” They continued their playful banter and then talked about the most random things shortly after. They ended up rolling off the couch and just laid down next to each other on the ground, rambling and occasionally making fun of their other members. Juho had felt content, happy that he had Seokwoo to talk to always.

The first time he truly experienced the change of his feelings was when Seokwoo had colored his hair. The role that he had taken on was still an idol, but he had to change his hair color. Seokwoo was a little hesitant at first, and Juho understood why, the taller was a very conservative person. But when Juho had reminded him that it was for his role, Seokwoo had instantly dragged him to their salon. Juho didn’t mind, seeing as he had to bleach his hair for their next comeback anyways. They both decided to watch a movie after they were done with their hair, wanting to release some of the tension that they were feeling lately.

Juho was done with his hair earlier than Seokwoo, so he had opted on playing some games on his phone as he waited for Seokwoo. After some time, he heard Seokwoo calling for him. He was about to whine about how the other had made him lose in his game but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his best friend. Seokwoo was currently sporting a light shade of brown and it was doing things to Juho’s heart, it was a wonder as to how he was still breathing.

Juho wanted to be selfish, wanted to have this Seokwoo all to himself. For once, he didn’t want to share with his fans. For once, he didn’t want his members showering Seokwoo with compliments. For once, he wished that Seokwoo would stop being a shy cutie. It was the first time ever that Juho’s heart was pounding so loud that the sound of it was echoing in his ears. His heart was beating at such an alarming rate but his hitched breath made it seem like Seokwoo had knocked the oxygen out of him.

“You doing okay, Juho?” he heard Seokwoo say to him, knocking him back to reality. He had to blink a few times to believe what was in front of him, and when he was sure that it was really Seokwoo in front of him, he cleared his throat. “I’m fine,” he said, wincing at the way his voice cracked at the end. Seokwoo raised an eyebrow at him in question.

“You sure? You don’t sound so good,” he said. Juho merely waved at him, desperate to get off the topic.

“I’m fine, really,” Juho said in an attempt to convince his best friend. “It’s kinda hot in here so I’m just thirsty is all.”

“Juho, it’s freezing in here. Are you sure you’re okay?” Before Juho could protest even further, Seokwoo walked up to him and pushed the other’s bangs upwards. He rested his palm against Juho’s forehead before trailing his hand down to the blond’s neck. Both of their eyes grew wide from shock, Juho from the contact of Seokwoo’s hand on his neck, Seokwoo from the heat that had travelled up to Juho’s face. “Dude, you’re burning up. That’s it, we’re getting some food and then we’re heading straight back home.”

“But our movie-“ Juho tried protesting but was cut short by Seokwoo shaking his head vigorously as a way to tell him no.

“We can watch other movies at home. I’m pretty sure Taeyang’s got some pretty good rom-coms stored somewhere.” Leaving no room for Juho to argue, Seokwoo dragged the blond away to get some food.

They ended up skipping the whole buying food and settled with ordering pizza online. Seokwoo had gone to get the pizza from the delivery man, which meant Juho was left alone with his thoughts. He was, at the moment, balancing his laptop on his lap while sitting on the floor in his room as his mind went off to venture his curious thoughts. Why had he seen Seokwoo shining just now, as though he was looking at him from a different perspective? Why had he thought Seokwoo was hot, and not in his usual friendly demeanor? Why was his heart racing like an F1 car? And why was it still going at that pace?! He needed a distraction, needed to take his mind off these ridiculous thoughts. Seokwoo was his friend, his _best friend,_ in fact. He couldn’t think about him in that way. “Maybe it’ll go away if I just shrug it off?” he mumbled to himself.

“Shrug what off?” Seokwoo’s voice that came from the door made his jumbled up mind come to a halt for the second time that day. “If you’re talking about the blanket, don’t you fucking dare. If you do that, I’m nursing you back to health.” Juho scrunched up his nose at that.

“Ew, mom Seokwoo,” he said.

“Shut up and scoot over,” Seokwoo commanded him to which he obliged. Juho could feel his heart rate picking up again when Seokwoo plopped himself next to the older man with their pizza in his hands, his thigh pressed against Juho’s. Juho had felt cold before from having his bare thighs resting on the cold floor- maybe wearing shorts wasn’t the best idea in his opinion- but somehow the floor had no effect on him now as all that he could feel was heat. _So much for ignoring it,_ he thought to himself. _How the hell are you supposed to ignore your own body, dumbass?!_ His heart that was already racing before felt like it was about to jump out of his chest when Seokwoo rested his head against Juho’s shoulder after having put their food on the ground.

“Seok, you could get sick-“ Juho tried to say- mostly to save himself from having his heart leaping but also to make sure that the other didn’t pick up that he wasn’t sick- but was stopped abruptly by the taller male’s arms snaking around his waist. Cuddles and hugs were normal between the both of them, sometimes kisses on the cheek when no one was looking- because god forbid Seokwoo from ruining his tough “I don’t need kisses” image- but Juho couldn’t handle the affection from this Seokwoo. It blew his mind how just a change of hair color managed to change his perception of his best friend. In his eyes, Seokwoo was no longer a derpy bean with poles for legs. He was now a hot derpy bean with poles for legs.

Which was weird- and a little funny- because Seokwoo had done nothing out of the norm ever since he colored his hair. He still teased Juho about the little things that he does, he was still polite to everyone around him even if they were younger than him, he still smiled non-stop whenever he looked up at the sky. His personality still remained the same, yet somehow, everything about him was enhanced. It was like Juho was looking at him from another perspective, and he was very nervous about the new angle of his view.

“I don’t mind getting sick,” he heard the younger’s muffled words. Juho didn’t bother to suppress a smile as he gently stroked Seokwoo’s now light brown locks.

“You’re such a big baby, you know that?” he chuckled.

“’M not, you are.” Seokwoo continued to press himself into Juho’s side while the latter tried his best not to scream at how cute he was. _So much for watching a movie._

After one hearty meal and a rom-com movie, Seokwoo left Juho alone with the promise that he was going to come back after a quick shower. As Seokwoo left his room to freshen up, Juho found himself perched by the windowsill in his room, his thoughts being drowned out by the light patter of the rain outside. He let himself relax, let go of himself for a while and just let the sound of rain calm down his troubled mind. He was so immersed in the sensual sound that he hadn’t realized Inseong stepping into his room. It wasn’t until the older tapped his shoulder did he realize the brunette’s presence.

“Inseong?” he said, startled by the face across from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Seokwoo told me that you’re sick,” the older explained. “I came here to check on you. Are you okay?” Juho stayed quiet, embarrassed to say anything. “Is it bad?” Inseong asked him gently. The younger looked down at his hands before quickly muttering out, “I’m not sick actually.” Inseong didn’t seem to hear what he had said so he let out a “huh?”

“I said I’m not actually sick,” Juho said in a louder tone, snapping his head upwards to look at his older member. “I’m fine, in fact. Really healthy, top notch health. Not in any way sick.” Not believing what he had said, Inseong furrowed his eyebrows and rested the back of his hand on Juho’s forehead, letting it trail down to the younger’s neck the same way that Seokwoo had done. It felt weird for Juho because when Inseong did it, he felt nothing. His mind told him that it was a brotherly gesture, that was normal. So why the hell did he feel like a whole zoo was in his stomach when Seokwoo did it? From the look of confusion on the older’s face, Juho confirmed that he was indeed doomed.

“You seem fine to me,” said the brunette. “Why didn’t you tell him that you’re not sick?” Juho’s fingers played with the blanket that he was wrapped in as he contemplated on telling his older member about the weird things that he had felt earlier.

“…”

“Do you want me to call Seokwoo over? I think he just finished taking his shower.” Juho flailed his arms in a desperate attempt to make Inseong stay and keep quiet. He let out a heavy sigh as he raked his blond hair with his fingers. He mumbled something intangible under his breath which made the man across from him to half shout Seokwoo’s name.

“It’s because my body was technically hot when Seokwoo touched my forehead, how was my body supposed to lie?” Juho blurted out, panic heard in his voice. Inseong arched an eyebrow at him, not understanding what he meant. After a while, Juho’s words finally sunk in and was processed in his brain. He gasped loudly, a hand flying to his mouth.

“Wait, so that means-“

“I think I might be starting to like him, and not in a friend way.”

“You didn’t like him like that before?!” Juho looked taken aback when Inseong asked him that.

“What are you talking about? Of course I didn’t. What made you think that I did?!”

“It’s just that you guys are too damn obvious. I swear, the whole team had made bets on you two when we were trainees.”

“You did what now?! Why?!” Before Inseong could even say anything else, Youngbin barged into the room and immediately made his way to the two.

“Juho, I heard you’re sick. What happened? What did you eat? Have you had your medicine-“ Youngbin’s questions came barreling in as worry was written all over his face, making Juho feel a little uneasy in his stomach. Inseong gave their leader a pat on the shoulder before dragging the shorter out of the room. “Wait, Inseong-“

“I’ll explain to you in a bit, come on,” Inseong cut off Youngbin. A few minutes after Youngbin and Inseong had left, Seokwoo came back to the room, a huge grin on his face. He had on his white pajamas with his phone in one hand and a towel in the other. His hair was damp and evidently been dried- most possibly by the towel in his hand- and it fluffed up, making Seokwoo look extremely adorable. “You feeling a bit better?” he asked. _Nope,_ Juho answered in his head, but nodded to his best friend. The grin that was on the taller male’s face seemed to grow even wider, if that was even possible. “I’m glad,” he sighed. “Now! Movie marathon round two!”

After the whole situation with Inseong had played out, the older had no choice but to explain what was really going on when they saw Juho walking around the dorm seeming fine and not resting- he was very thankful that Seokwoo had a schedule to go to that day because if not he wouldn’t hear the end of it from their tallest member. Juho pitied Inseong a little seeing the way he had to slowly explain to each member that Juho was in fact fine, especially to Taeyang who was overprotective of the producer. Of course, that also meant he was teased relentlessly afterwards by all of them, specifically from Sanghyuk and Taeyang. Mostly Taeyang because he had a recording session with the younger that day.

“So,” Taeyang started while they took their break in between recording, sitting next to Juho on the couch. “Seokwoo, huh? I mean, we all saw it coming but it’s about time that you saw it for yourself.” Juho sighed.

“First of all, I’ve heard that before, I get that I’m an idiot,” he said. “Secondly, it’s just a crush. It’s just a passing thing, it’ll go away soon, I’m sure of it.” Taeyang hummed.

“Highly doubt that, though.”

“It has to,” Juho pressed. Taeyang watched with a puzzled look on his face as Juho clenched his jaw.

“Why do you hate the idea of liking him so much?”

“I don’t hate it, I just-“ he heaved a heavy sigh. “I don’t wanna end up falling for someone who’s gonna end up with someone else. _Especially_ if it’s my best friend. I can’t do that to him, Taeyang.”

“What do you mean _someone else_? Juho, the guy’s smitten for you, it’s so clear.”

“You said that about Chani’s crush.” Taeyang waved that off.

“That one was a miscalculation. I’m certain this time. He’s too obvious.”

“I still can’t take that risk, Tyang. The risk of losing him.” The younger sunk into the couch with a sigh.

“I obviously can’t change your mind. But one thing’s for sure, you’re not getting away from this feeling. I’m sorry to break that to you, Juju.”

Juho had hoped that what Taeyang said would be wrong, that he would just get over this childish feeling, but every moment that Seokwoo was gone just fueled up his feelings for the younger. Every time Seokwoo left for his drama, Juho would wonder how long it took for the other to do each scene, he wondered if their tallest member was eating well, if he was getting along with his castmates well. He had to fight every fiber in his being from calling Seokwoo during what he assumed was their lunch break. He hated that the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” made sense now.

A mini road trip. That’s what their manager had told them one day. They were all going on a mini road trip. It got all of them excited, even if they were being filmed while on the trip, but then they were told that Seokwoo couldn’t join them due to his schedule that clashed with the trip. They were all disappointed when they heard that, Juho especially, but Seokwoo told them to have fun on his behalf. If Juho was being honest, he was used to it at this point, his best friend’s schedule was starting to become more packed seeing as he was the face of the group, but he was still sad nonetheless. Maybe it was partially because he missed the other, that he wasn’t able to deny, but it was mostly because it pained him to see his best friend not getting enough rest. They were told to pack lightly and he was in the middle of packing while being lost in his thoughts when knocks could be heard on his door. Seeing a familiar blond stepping into his room, he smiled brightly. “Hey, you done packing?” he asked Taeyang to which the other nodded.

“Just brought the essentials with me,” he said.

“And by that you mean accessories.” Taeyang grinned.

“A shit ton of them.” The dancer made his way to Juho and plopped down on the chair opposite of the older who was still deep in packing his clothes. Juho could feel Taeyang’s gaze burning the top of his head and it was distracting the living daylights out of him.

“Okay, you obviously have something you wanna say,” he said, startling the boy across from him. “What is it?”

“Are you gonna be okay?” Worry laced his words as he asked Juho, his calm demeanor being blown by his tone.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, he’s not joining us.” Juho paused his packing momentarily and looked at Taeyang with a gentle gaze.

“If you’re worried about me missing him, I’m gonna be fine,” he said with a smile. “I mean, I’ll always miss him when he’s not around, but it’s something that I’m used to at this point. It’s just that I’m worried about him. He hasn’t had enough rest and I’m worried that he might overwork himself.” Taeyang nodded his head, understanding what the older meant.

“You’re such a domestic boyfriend, you know.” Juho’s face burned a bright shade of red.

“Fuck off, I’m not.”

“You’re so in love with him, oh my god.”

“Fuck off, Taeyang.”

Slinging his backpack over his shoulders, Juho stepped out of his room and joined his members in the living room. The staff explained to them how they had to divide into two groups as they had a few games that they were going to play on the trip. Juho ended up being teamed up with Taeyang, Sanghyuk and Youngkyun while Chani and the hyung line were one team. Juh could tell he was in for one hell of a headache and it didn’t help that Sanghyuk was the one behind the wheel for their team. They had managed to have gotten lost somehow and it felt like forever before they met up with the others. Juho gave a silent thanks to Taeyang for distracting Youngkyun from his hunger.

They had to face part two of being hungry when they lost the game against the opposing team for snacks. Juho took over the role of the driver when they were on the road again so the older could get some rest, and it was safe to say that it was a relief that they switched roles. Juho was left in his own thoughts once again as the other members of his team fell into a deep slumber. He tried to think about anything else besides Seokwoo, but it was hard for him. So he decided to blab to the camera and pretend like he’s talking to his fans. He thanked them for supporting the group, made promises to them, and just felt content that he was able to talk to his fans always in any way.

They made it to a water park and Juho had never felt this excited in his life. Of course they had some games that they had to play first, but the moment they were told that they could play whatever it is that they wanted, Juho rushed to the water skiing area. He missed having his heart race for something that wasn’t a smile from a certain someone, so it felt good when he could feel his heart rate increase as he equipped himself. Clutching onto the handle tightly, he gave a signal in the direction of the motorboat and saw the towline lifting off the water surface. The feeling of cool sea air brushing against his face as he was being dragged on the water made him feel alive, made him feel rejuvenated, like he was reborn. All the worries that he had before; Seokwoo, the fans, his songs, everything, he let them drown momentarily in the feeling of tranquillity that was fuelled by his pumping adrenaline.

“Holy shit, Juho, you actually looked cool just now,” was the first thing said to him- by Sanghyuk- the second that he got out of the water. He grinned widely, thanking the older for the compliment.

The fun that they had that felt like minutes had in fact been a couple of hours and it was finally time for them to head to the house that had been rented out for them. Juho wasn’t going to deny it but he was relieved that they were finally heading to the house because he was just on the brink of crashing. However, the shock that he felt when they reached the place overpowered the fatigue that he felt. Standing tall at the front door was Seokwoo who had a huge grin on his face. He stared in complete awe as the other members rushed towards the tall boy. He wanted to head over to his best friend too, wanted to give him a warm hug to welcome him, but his feet were glued to the ground, not daring to make any sudden moves in fear that he might wake up from this dream. Seokwoo ushered him over with a soft smile and that motion brought him back to reality.

They all entered the house and began exploring every inch of the place before they were asked to gather in the living room for the second time that day. They had more games to play but first they had to settle the problem of Seokwoo not having a team. So instead of letting the tall male pick his team, they had the two youngest members do it for him. They had Chani and Youngkyun stand with their backs pressed against each other as they played rock paper scissors as a way to determine which team Seokwoo was going to be thrown to.

As cruel as fate was, Juho wasn’t expecting it to be this cruel when the older out of the two maknaes had won the game, meaning that Seokwoo was to join their team. He would be fine if it was him, Seokwoo and maybe some other members, but he was stuck with god damn Sanghyuk and Taeyang as well. Simply said, he had a feeling that he was in for one hell of a ride.

They played more games, had some food to fill their growling stomachs and all around had a good time. Finally, when they were all drained of their energy, it was time for them to sleep. Of course, the staff wasn’t going to let them go to sleep that easily, they all should’ve guessed that. They were informed that there was only enough beds for one team, and that the other had to sleep outside in the cold open. For them to determine who got the rooms and who got the grass, they had to play a game of flick the bottle cap. Juho knew it was a bad idea letting Taeyang represent their team- hell, he probably had a higher chance of winning compared to the younger, which was definitely saying something- so it didn’t surprise him when they lost. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. Not only did he have to sleep next to Seokwoo, he also had to sleep on the cold grass. _You really don’t have to sleep next to him, you know,_ a part of him reminded him, but a louder and even more annoying part of him replied with _no, I really have to._

He felt like there was light shining upon him when they were given a chance to spare a member from the losing team. All they had to do was draw their self portraits in a creepy house not far from their own house. Juho had to give it some thought; either he refused to go and end up sleeping outside, or give in and might stand a chance to sleep indoors. He was most definitely willing to sleep outside. Besides, he knew that Seokwoo’s art skills were the best amongst the five of them, so why bother trying when he was going to lose anyways. Sanghyuk, however, was not having any of that. He ended up dragging Juho into the plan anyways and so there they were, sitting in a circle as they tried to split the group of five into two.

“How about Juho and Seokwoo as one team, Sanghyuk, Youngkyun and I as another?” Taeyang suggested, to which Juho threw a glare his way. Seokwoo seemed to light up at the thought of that but Youngkyun instantly shot that idea down with a shake of his head.

“Yeah, no, nu-uh,” he said. “The last time we left these two idiots together in a haunted house alone we had to have god damn sleepovers for a whole month. So, no.”

“Ouch,” said Juho, feigning hurt.

“He’s right, though, I’ll give him that,” said Seokwoo. Juho sent a glare in his direction and he responded to it with a playful shrug.

“Anyways!” said Sanghyuk, interrupting the two. “So I guess Juho’s coming with me and Taeyang, seeing how Taeyang can’t be separated from Juho-“ he mumbled out the last part. “Seokwoo, you head over there with Youngkyun. Sound good?” All of them agreed to the plan, Juho nodding his head a little too enthusiastically. The hurt look on Seokwoo’s face when he had nodded his head seemed to fly over his head completely.

By the end of the game, it shocked no one that Seokwoo had managed to captivate the hearts of the winning team with his self portrait. But due to the fact that it was raining outside, they were all allowed to sleep indoors, thanks to Youngbin. The losing team, being ever so grateful, had agreed on sleeping on the floor, so there Juho was, in one corner of the room with Seokwoo next to him as he stared at the ceiling, the light snores of his other members assuring him that he was alone in his own thoughts. Everyone except…

“Juho,” he heard the sound of Seokwoo’s gentle whisper disrupting his daydreaming session. “You awake?”

“Yeah,” he whispered back. Light shuffling was heard by his side in the muted darkness.

“I’ve got a question for you.” Juho turned to his side and was startled when he saw the taller was staring back at him. Face blossoming with colour, he tried his best to look into his best friend’s eyes. Even in the very dimly lit room, he could see the small details in the other’s eyes. The light twinkle in his eyes that was caused by the limited lighting was something that Juho was definitely going to remember, something that he was going to store deep in his memory and it was just his. He cleared his throat, his mind scrambling for something to say to the taller.

“Go ahead,” he said when he found the right words.

“I-“ Seokwoo hesitated, shaking his head. “Never mind.”

“What is it?” Juho could barely make out the embarrassed look that was on his best friend’s face as the other desperately tried to cover it with his hands. Juho pulled his hands away and stared into his eyes, reassuring him that it was okay to ask him anything that he wanted to. Shyly, he finally croaked out a question that Juho would’ve missed completely if he wasn’t focusing on the younger’s voice.

“Were you disappointed when you saw me just now?” Juho stared at Seokwoo, taken aback by the sudden question. He was expecting just another one of his random late night thoughts that he always asked his older friend, but he was definitely not expecting this.

“What?! What made you think that?” Seokwoo buried his face in the crook of Juho’s neck as he clung onto the older.

“I don’t know… The other members were excited to see me but you just sorta stood there.” His words were slightly muffled against Juho’s neck but the blond was still able to make out what his best friend was trying to say. As if by instinct, he wrapped his arms around Seokwoo’s waist and pulled him closer.

“I was just really shocked,” he said, gently stroking the younger’s hair. “I actually talked to Taeyang about how you don’t get enough rest what with your acting and all, so I was surprised when I saw you. I was really happy and excited because you’re finally getting some rest.”

“…”

“Is this why you were being more quiet than usual today?”

“Mmhmm.” Another muffled response came from Seokwoo.

“I’m so sorry, Seok. I didn’t think that you’d be affected by my response. You know that I would never get tired of you, right?”

“I know, I know, I’m irresistible.” Juho smacked his head playfully.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, dickhead,” he chuckled. Silence fell upon them and after some time, Juho was just about ready to fall asleep when Seokwoo spoke up again.

“Thanks, Juho,” he whispered. Juho strained to keep his eyes open as tried to stare at Seokwoo with confused eyes.

“What for?” he asked, his question interrupted by him yawning. Seokwoo mirrored his action and yawned sleepily.

“For being my friend, my _best friend,_ in fact,” he yawned. “I really treasure you a lot, you know that?”

“I know. And I treasure you, I hope you know that.”

“I do.” With that, the both of them finally dozed off, one with a dreamless, peaceful sleep, while the other had the former’s words playing in his head on repeat in his dreams as though his subconscious was mocking him. A friend. That’s what he was, and what he will always be. It made him a little sad when thinking about it, but at least he still got to be Seokwoo’s best friend. He saw that as a huge win and he was determined to not screw up this beautiful thing that he had going on, even if it meant burying his feelings for the other deep down within him.

2017 wasn’t as hard as 2018, in Juho’s personal opinion. He began to see Seokwoo less and less, and though he had made amends with his emotions, he still worried about the taller male a lot and was always missing him. He only ever got to see his best friend when they were together as a group, because if not he was off doing other jobs. After School 2017, Seokwoo was offered other acting gigs. Juho was happy for him, he really was, but a small part of him really wanted to be selfish and tell Seokwoo to turn down maybe just one of the offers. But he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t do that to his best friend. Because he could see, even though he would come back to the dorm at maybe 3:00 a.m., the other would tell the group about the fun that he had the day after. He didn’t and couldn’t take that away from his partner in crime.

There were times where Seokwoo had gotten so stressed over his packed schedule that he just refused to talk to anyone for the entire day. It only ever lasted a day and that was mostly because he had always gone to Juho if he ever needed to let go of the pressure. They would lie down on the older male’s bed and cuddle as Seokwoo emptied his brain of every single worry that crossed his mind that day or whatever it was that was being pent up within him. It had been one of those days when Seokwoo decided to give Juho the shock of his life.

“I love you, Juho,” he said while the producer was stroking his dark locks of hair. Juho stopped his actions abruptly and moved his attention towards the man in his arms, mouth going dry at the words that he heard.

“What?” he asked, his voice sounding oddly hoarse. Seokwoo looked up to him with a bright smile. The sun had already set a few hours ago, but the smile that was on his face seemed to challenge the stars that were out in the open and maybe the sun itself.

“I love you, dumbass,” he chuckled.

“Why so sudden?” Seokwoo shrugged.

“I don’t think I’ve ever said it to you before, but I love you. You’re my best friend, of course I love you. But I’ve never actually said it out loud, so I just want you to know that I love you.” Juho swallowed thickly at the words that were said. He wanted to say that he loved him, too, but his love was different. Sure, he loved his best friend, who wouldn’t? But his love for the other wasn’t something that matched Seokwoo’s love. Seokwoo’s love was different from his, and it will never be the same. With that in mind, he figured he had nothing to lose anyways if he said it back. Seokwoo would take it as a platonic love, he was aware of that. Was he okay with it? Well, he was going to have to be. Forcing a smile on his face, he looked into the other’s eyes.

“I love you, too, Seok,” he said. Oh, how much he loved Seokwoo. He would do anything to see his best friend happy, would sacrifice everything if he had to, if it meant he got to see that smile on his face a lot. In that sense, he was a little selfish, and he let that selfish part of him take over when it came to Seokwoo’s happiness. Because nothing mattered if Seokwoo wasn’t happy.

Juho took his words back. 2019 was by far the worst year for him. It had started off with a very bumpy beginning, and he was hating every part of that bumpy road. They had another comeback prepared and they were all excited for it. The only problem that they had was the fact that Juho couldn’t join in for the promotions. He couldn’t even join them during their showcase, he was bedridden due to his back problems. “Stupid back,” he was constantly mumbling whenever he was upset that he couldn’t join his members.

God bless Taeyang for always visiting him every time they finished a schedule. Though he was aware that Juho had monitored their stage all the time, he still shared their day with the older. It made Juho miss being on stage, but it also made him feel involved, so he was very grateful for the dancer’s stories. He had gotten messages from the others, occasionally would see them, too, but there was that one member who he had not seen in a while. He still got messages from that particular member and video called him from time to time, but he still never got to see him face to face.

“Don’t you miss Seokwoo?” Taeyang asked him one day while they were sprawled on Juho’s couch, watching Notting Hill for the nth time. The question had caught Juho off guard, but he sat up from his lazy state. He hummed in thought.

“I mean, of course I do,” he said. “He’s my best friend-“

“And one true love.” Taeyang cut him off with a smirk playing on his lips. Juho opted on ignoring his statement.

“It would be a lie if I said that I don’t miss him. But I get that he’s busy, so he probably doesn’t have enough time to visit me. He still texts me, though.” Taeyang nodded his head, more towards in thought than understanding what the older had said. His face twisted into something that Juho had seen quite often, and it was definitely one that Juho wasn’t a fan of. “What the fuck are you planning right now?” he asked, making the younger face him with the expression on his face not faltering for a second. He shrugged and gave his older friend a taunting smile.

“It’s for me to know, and for you to maybe find out,” he laughed, entertained with the face that Juho was making.

“You’re very weird, you know that?” Taeyang smacked his arm, causing him to let out a groan.

When Taeyang had said that he was going to be a little late when it came to visiting him, Juho assumed that he had a schedule that he needed to go to first. He was absolutely not expecting the dancer to show up at his door with a very tall, very familiar, person. Said person was smiling widely at him while he held a paper bag in his hands. “Hey there, bud,” he grinned.

“Seokwoo,” Juho managed to breathe out his name. He just spent his time staring at the taller male in complete awe. He was probably imagining this. There was no way Seokwoo was here in front of him, _physically_ in front of him, not virtually. Seokwoo was looking at him now with the gentlest smile dancing on his lips, entrancing Juho for the nth time since forever. He was probably dreaming, that was the only available explanation. He took a nap after Taeyang told him that he was going to be late, so obviously this was a dream. Seokwoo was a busy man, he didn’t have time to visit him, and he understood that. But if this was a dream, he most certainly refused to wake up from his deep slumber.

“And Taeyang, hi,” Taeyang said, popping up in between the both of them and cutting off their staring. Juho felt his face flushing at the sudden interruption, but was grateful nonetheless. God knows what would’ve happened if the younger hadn’t intervened. He just might’ve confessed if he as so much stared into his eyes just 5 seconds more.

“What brings you guys here?” Juho asked, his eyes darting from Seokwoo immediately to Taeyang, half glaring at him.

“I wanted to see you,” Seokwoo piped up, still smiling widely at his best friend. “I missed you a lot.” Juho felt his heart flutter when Seokwoo said that. _It’s just a simple thing, dumbass,_ he mentally scolded himself. _He’s your best friend, of course he misses you._ Taeyang scoffed beside them.

“Yeah, he was too nervous to come here alone so I had to practically drag him here,” he said, but a grin was visible on his face. _Oh shit, that’s too cute,_ was all that Juho could think now. Seokwoo was nervous to see him alone, so he had to bring Taeyang along. Seokwoo was nervous, he was nervous, of meeting him, being alone with him, in his house. _Fuck, no, it’s not that,_ the rational side of him tried arguing.

_Uh, yes it is,_ another- irrational yet loud, if he would add- side of him spoke up.

_No, he’s just a very shy person._

_Why are you being so dumb? He’s never shy around you, and he’s always hanging out with you alone. So why is he nervous at the thought of being alone with you at home?_

Juho couldn’t help but wince at the mini argument that he was having in his head, earning a confused stare from both Taeyang and Seokwoo. He shooed his thoughts and ridiculous arguments and chose instead to give the two men in front of him a smile. “Come on in,” he said, stepping aside and ushering them to enter his small apartment. Yeah, it was small, but he had never felt like it was uncomfortable or stuffy.

Taeyang and Seokwoo entered his small home and Taeyang instantly made a beeline towards the older male’s couch, his back instantly meeting the soft material. Juho stood at the door for a moment and just stared at the dancer in disbelief. After having closed the front door, he ran up to the younger and made an attempt to land on top of the other. He heard a groan coming from Taeyang when his back collided with the younger’s chest. It was now Seokwoo’s turn to look at them like they were something foreign to him.

“Why the hell am I friends with you guys?” he asked, shaking his head in fake disappointment. Taeyang stuck out his tongue from beneath Juho.

“You still love us,” he said.

“Not right now, I don’t. I can’t love someone that I don’t know.”

A cushion went flying and nailed Seokwoo right in the chest. The taller male looked at the culprit with wide eyes. Juho pouted at him with his eyebrows furrowed together.

“I am offended, Kim Seokwoo,” he said. “I thought what we had was special.” The blush that was blossoming on the younger’s face completely slipped past his mind before it was quickly suppressed and replaced with a pout that challenged Juho’s.

“Yeah, but you chose Taeyang instead,” Seokwoo argued. Juho responded to that by limping his body even further and reaching behind him to give Taeyang a reversed hug.

“Taeyang’s my squishy pillow, of course I chose him,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Basically, he loves me more,” said Taeyang, returning the embrace that was given to him. Seokwoo scoffed playfully.

“Well, I guess then I’m heading back home with my cupcakes,” he said, turning away from his friends and walking towards the door. In an instant, Juho was on his feet and standing right in front of Seokwoo.

“You made cupcakes?” he asked in a kid-like tone while making puppy dog eyes at the taller, eyes twinkling and very hard to resist. At least, it was hard for Seokwoo to resist. The other visibly melted at the cuteness displayed before him.

He subtly gulped before asking, “Yeah, do you want some?” Juho leaped a little and threw his arms around the taller male’s neck, clinging onto him as he tried to avoid pressing against the paper bag.

“Sorry, Taeyang, but I’m afraid I love Seokwoo a little more than you today,” he said. Taeyang sat up on the couch and scoffed.

“When do you not?” he asked, earning himself a glare from the producer. Seokwoo merely hummed in confusion. Taeyang waved off his confused state and mumbled about Seokwoo being the same before he got up from his sitting position. “I’m off to the bathroom for a bit, go ahead and start eating without me,” he said, casually making his way to Juho’s bathroom and maneuvering his way through the older’s house like it was his own. Once he was out of sight, Seokwoo looked down at Juho with a familiar curious glint in his eyes that Juho had clearly seen before.

“What did he mean by that before?” he asked. Juho’s cheeks were dusted a pretty shade of pink but he tried playing it off like he wasn’t about to start blushing like crazy. He merely shrugged as an answer for the younger.

Scratch the idea of his house not being uncomfortable, Juho felt like he was being suffocated right now in the small space of his home. Hell, being suffocated was probably a way better option in comparison to what he was going through at the moment. Seokwoo was sat next to him on the couch with a large gap in between them, and Taeyang was still nowhere to be seen. He was contemplating on barging in on the dancer in his bathroom, even if meant he had to shield his eyes from any unwanted scenes. Anything to just get away from the strange air that was in the room.

It was weird how after Seokwoo had asked that question, Juho couldn’t seem to push aside his shy, school girl side. The thought of his best friend finding out about his feelings sent all the blood rushing to his face in an instant, and to be quite frank, he had no idea why the idea of it made him shy. Maybe it was him thinking about the embarrassment that he would face, but a small part of him was leaning more towards him being shy than he was embarrassed, which made no sense to him.

He shook his head to rid himself of those ridiculous- and useless if he was being honest- thoughts. Seokwoo would never and can never find out about how he felt, that was what he promised himself during the first day of him establishing his emotions. So he put on a brave smile and moved closer to Seokwoo, making some stupid joke about Taeyang and enjoying the way the other practically snorted at it. _Yeah, it was best if we stayed this way_ , was what went through his head yet again after having to repeat it to himself for the past year or so.

Had he mentioned before that he hated 2019? Because hate was a light word in his situation. Juho had to sit out the entire time of their Narcissus promotions in Korea, but thankfully he had recovered by the time they were about to promote in Japan. He had a lot of fun, there was no doubt about that. Then came RPM era.

Juho was excited to be able to perform with his members again, excited to be able to join the showcase this time. But- of course there was a but, there’s always a but in his life- Seokwoo wouldn’t be joining them again for a majority of their performances due to his upcoming drama. This time, he was taking on the part of the main character, and everyone was extra excited for him. Juho figured since he was going to see the other very rarely after this, he might as well hang out with him for a long time. So he invited Seokwoo over for a sleepover.

Sitting in Juho’s apartment side by side, the two ’96 line boys held their glasses of wine in their hands as they lazily talked about random things that they had missed in each other’s lives. Maybe they had one too many to drink, or maybe they were just very tired from their unearthly schedule, but somehow they started invading each other’s space more so than usual. Seokwoo had managed to crawl into Juho’s lap with his arms wrapped behind the older male’s neck, straddling the other. His face was flushed and oh so close to Juho’s own. He let out a small giggle at random, his breath hot and tickling Juho’s lips. It was making the producer have an even more difficult time trying to think straight. “Seokwoo,” he whispered, his cheeks burning a bright shade of red. He wasn’t sure if it was from the wine or if it was from the small distance in between their faces, or it could even be both. Either way, he was feeling warm.

“You’re hot,” Seokwoo giggled, his face inching closer to Juho’s. The blond found his hands travelling down to the younger male’s waist, gently holding him close.

“You’re hotter,” he whispered as a reply. Seokwoo seemed to be taken aback by that even in his drunken state, though it was momentary before a pout appeared on his face.

“I’m not,” he whined before giggling again. “ _You’re_ the hottest. You’re so hot like, oh my God. I just wanna kiss you all the time. Like right now! I wanna kiss you so-“ His blabbering was cut short by Juho’s lips that were pressed against his.

Juho was going to blame the alcohol for his reaction, but oh, God, was this heavenly. Not only was he kissing his crush of 2 years, said man was kissing him back with a smile that the blond could feel pressed against his lips. Seokwoo’s plump lips felt really soft against his own and it made it impossible for Juho to pull away. He didn’t want to pull away, not even for a second. But they needed to breathe, so reluctantly, the older of the two slowly pulled away and stared at Seokwoo who’s lips were swollen.

“Seokwoo-“ He was given no chance to even attempt to complete a sentence before Seokwoo was attacking his lips again, this time with more hunger. Juho wanted to fight it, to be the rational one in this situation, but dear God was the alcohol getting to him. Again, he was definitely going to blame the wine in the morning. But right now, he wasn’t going to blame anyone and not feel the slightest bit guilty and just reciprocate the kiss.

Juho woke up the next morning with his head pounding like crazy. His gaze was hazy with his brain fuzzing and no memory of the night before coming to him. His back was sore, he could feel it throbbing in pain, but he had no idea why. Cracking his eyes open properly in his groggy state, he saw that he was lying down on the couch all alone. He was confused. He could’ve sworn that Seokwoo was with him the night before, but he couldn’t hear the water running or any grilling or sizzling coming from the kitchen. Had he dreamt about Seokwoo? He was sure he hadn’t. He could remember the younger coming over, they even had some wine, but after that everything was just a blur. Something told him that his lack of memory was going to bite him in the ass.

He hoisted himself off the couch and groggily walked around his apartment in hopes of finding his best friend. What he did find instead was a note stuck onto his fridge using a fridge magnet.

_Juju! Sorry I couldn’t have breakfast with you, I had to go to the shoot. I did make some hangover soup for you, it’s on the table along with some scrambled eggs. Make sure you eat and not starve yourself while working, I’ll literally whoop your ass if you do that. Anyways, call me when you wake up._

_P.S, I took some of your pics while you were sleeping :P_

Glancing over towards the dinner table, Juho saw the plate of scrambled eggs next to a bowl of what he recognized as hangover soup that made his mouth water and his stomach grumble. His first instinct should be to head over and eat the food, instead he rummaged through the pocket of his track bottom and frowned when he couldn’t find his phone. He went back to the makeshift living room and found his phone sitting on the coffee table, no signs of the wine glasses that they had used.

He went to pick up his phone and there was something in the back of his head nagging at him to remember, and it was annoying the living daylights out of him. He opted on ignoring that small voice and dialled Seokwoo’s number instead. He felt a little startled when the phone was answered after the first ring.

“Hey,” he said as soon as he heard Seokwoo’s hello.

_“Juju!”_ the other practically screamed on the other line.

“Seokwoo, it’s too early for you to scream at me,” said Juho, pulling his phone away from his ear.

_“Dude, it’s already noon, what are you talking about.”_

Juho looked at the clock on the wall and it did read 12:00 p.m. “Still early.” The older didn’t need to see him to know that Seokwoo was rolling his eyes at the other.

_“Anyways, did you eat your soup yet?”_

“No, not yet.”

_“You’d better do so, if not I’ll seriously beat your ass.”_ Juho heard someone on the other line calling for Seokwoo followed by a sigh from his best friend. _“I’ve gotta go now.”_ He could hear the pout in Seokwoo’s voice.

“Good luck on your shoot.”

_“Thanks.”_ Juho was just about to pull his phone away from his ear and hang up when he heard Seokwoo frantically calling for him. He hummed in response.

_“Do you remember what happened last night?”_

“No. Do you?”

_“Nope. Guess I was really plastered. Eh. We were probably just goofing around all night.”_

“True.”

_“Anyways, I’m going now for real. Bye, bitch.”_

“Jerk.”

Juho had taken his shower all the while trying to think of what happened the night before because something just wasn’t sitting right. It hit him like a train while he was in the middle of eating his soup. The memories of him, not only kissing Seokwoo, but also having a full on make out session with the younger came flooding back. He didn’t notice that he had dropped his spoon and was touching his lips. Seokwoo’s soft, plump lips, against his own, hands roaming each other’s sides and chests.

The only thing that he could think of doing at the moment was to bury his face in his hands, his cheeks burning a bright shade of red. “What the fuck,” he muttered, his voice muffled by his hands. He didn’t know what else to do except for chanting ‘what the fuck’ while his memories started coming back in a rush. He remembered everything, and he was hating his brain for jogging that memory back. He didn’t need it, he was fine with not remembering it, yet his dumb brain just had to bring it back.

“Oh my God,” he breathed after the initial shock was over. “I made out with my best friend. Oh dear God, I made out with my best friend. My _drunk ass best friend_.” Juho went on a ramble on how he was fine, he was going to be okay. Seokwoo was drunk off his ass, and the man’s tolerance was lower than his, so he could safely assume that he’ll never _ever_ remember what happened that night unless someone probed at his memories- which Juho was determined to make sure no one did.

Though the thought of Seokwoo regaining his lost memories gave a fright to him, Juho couldn’t help but think about the feeling of the younger male’s lips on his own. The memory was so fresh in his mind that it felt like the actor was actually still there with him, his lips pressed firmly against Juho’s. The blond shook his head vigorously to push away any sort of weird thoughts. It was bad enough that he had made out with his best friend, he shouldn’t be thinking about it still. Shaking his head once more, he resumed eating his breakfast, determined to forget everything that happened that night.

It was awkward between the both of them after that day. At least, it was for Juho. He couldn’t look at Seokwoo in the eye without the memories of them making out coming to him in an instant. He tried to be as subtle as he could about the whole thing, but subtle was definitely not his middle name. He knew that Seokwoo could tell something was off, but the taller refused to confront him about it. Taeyang, however, would not let Juho remain silent. He knew that if the older wasn’t asked, he wouldn’t say anything. So he had to ask.

“What’s going on with you?” Taeyang asked him on their lunch break a couple of days after he started acting strange. Juho was staring lazily at one corner of the café that they were in, his mind not quite snapping back to reality when asked the question. The young dancer had to snap his fingers multiple times in the older male’s face for him to resurface from his daydreams. He hummed in confusion with a dazed expression etched onto his face. “You’re definitely not okay,” Taeyang confirmed, crossing his arms while leaning back against his chair. Juho shrugged off the topic with a wave of his hand.

“I’m fine, Taeyang,” he tried convincing the other.

“No, you’re not. Wanna know how I know?”

“…” Juho didn’t need to ask because he knew that Taeyang was going to tell him anyways, so better to not say anything and have the younger at his neck.

“You’ve been avoiding Seokwoo. You never avoid him even if you guys fought. So I wanna know, what’s going on?” Juho’s eyes moved to focus on the ground as he fidgeted with his fingers, contemplating on whether or not he should tell the younger what had happened.

“Please, Juho. Even if you don’t wanna talk to me about it, please at least talk to Youngbin. I know he’s probably really worried about you. Hmm?”

“I made out with him,” Juho mumbled out quietly but loud enough for Taeyang to hear.

“With Youngbin?!” The surprise in the younger male’s voice amused him momentarily.

“With Seokwoo.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be a good thing?”

“It would be if we were both sober.” Taeyang remained silent for quite some time and that was enough for Juho to look up at the younger. The brunette was looking at him with a gentle stare and he could sense where this was going.

“Juju.”

“Hmm?”

“You know that I love you, right?”

“Yeah..?”

“And you know that I don’t like seeing you hurt?”

“… I know.”

“So you know where this is going, right?” Juho nodded his head meekly. He knew that the younger was going to ask him to tell Seokwoo how he felt, and Juho knew that he might be right. No matter how much it was going to hurt him if Seokwoo were to reject him, at least he had gotten it off his chest. He wouldn’t have to go around wondering if the taller felt the same for him or was just really soft towards him.

Getting Seokwoo’s attention proved to be much harder than Juho had thought it would be. Ever since the older started to keep a safe distance from the taller, Seokwoo seemed to have latched himself onto Chani more often. If he wasn’t attached to Chani, he was off shooting his drama. They still talked often, but it was always in the presence of the other members.

If Juho was being honest, he was on the brink of bursting. He was sure that any day he was going to just suddenly jump in front of his members yelling about how much he loved Seokwoo. And maybe that was what drove him to do what he did.

It was one of those days where they all just hung out in one of the dorms and have a movie marathon with the blankets, pillows and comforters all laid out for them to sleepover afterwards. Juho was sprawled by the foot of the couch with his arms encircling Taeyang’s waist while the other had his hand deep in a bowl of popcorn that was balanced on his lap. Seokwoo was squished in between Chani and Youngkyun this time, but he kept on pestering their youngest member despite them watching a movie. Chani gave in to whatever the giant did because everyone knew that even though he put up an act in front of the fans, he actually really enjoyed the affection showered upon him. Juho really didn’t mind that Chani was given all of the love in the world, he would do the same for the young actor, but not being able to talk to Seokwoo was getting on his nerves so much. So he decided to disconnect his brain from his mouth.

Leaning against Taeyang even further, he buried his face in the other’s arm and mumbled something that was incoherent for the others but made sense to Taeyang. Jaeyoon and Youngkyun looked at him questioningly, completely disregarding the movie that had their attention just a minute ago. “Say that again, but a bit louder this time,” said Taeyang without budging or even making an effort to look at the older. Juho lifted his head and gave him the stink eye before letting his head fall on the younger male’s shoulder. Regardless, he repeated what he had said, only a little bit louder this time. Though it wasn’t loud enough for everyone to hear, it definitely caught Youngbin’s attention. Taeyang removed his hand from the popcorn bowl and placed it instead on Juho’s arm, rubbing small circles on it.

“A little louder, Juju. I know you can do it,” he said.

“Taeyang-“ their leader tried to stop him but Juho beat him to it by lifting his head from the younger’s shoulder.

“I love you,” he said to no one in particular. Well, not really no one, but at this point everyone was looking at him. There was a mix of emotions on each of the members’ faces, but a common expression that he saw was shock. He didn’t blame them, though. They all knew how much Juho had bottled up his feelings for Seokwoo, so they probably weren’t expecting him to burst randomly. The person who’s Juho’s confession was meant for looked at him with shock and something that he couldn’t recognize. “What?” Seokwoo asked, his voice cracking. This time, Juho looked at him dead in the eyes.

“ _I said_ I love you, Seokwoo,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to tell you that for weeks but my dumbass couldn’t think of a way to catch you alone.”

“Well, you could’ve just texted me and asked to meet up,” Seokwoo responded.

“You’ve been busy, dumbass! I couldn’t disturb you when that’s your only resting time. What kind of a shitty friend do you think I am?!” At this point Juho had detached himself from Taeyang and was sitting up straight with his focus solely on Seokwoo.

“But this is different. Why didn’t you just call me?!”

“Because you’re more important than my stupid feelings!” He was breathing heavily with his gaze hard on Seokwoo. He could tell that the air in the room was starting to become more and more uncomfortable, the atmosphere being more evident when Sanghyuk suggested that the others left them alone. Juho waved him off.

“It’s fine,” he said. “I need to get some fresh air, so I’ll head out.” Taeyang wanted to protest next to him but was ignored completely as Juho got up on his feet and grabbed his hoodie, quickly making his way out of the dorm.

The cool air brushed against his face, giving him a calm and serene feeling. Though his mind still wandered back to his little outburst for a moment ago. He let his feet take him anywhere without a proper destination until he stopped dead in his tracks when he reached a park. He squatted down and buried his face in his hands, immensely embarrassed by the scene that he had made back in the dorm. “Dumb, stupid Juho,” he scolded himself. “Why did you do that? Why the hell did you do that?! Stupid, dumb Taeyang, too, telling me to confess. The fuck was that?!”

He was blabbering to himself and was unaware of the presence of another. “Juho,” he heard a familiar voice call for him. His head snapped up and he felt his face burning bright red, partially from the cold wind, but mostly from the voice that just called out his name. He turned his head to see Seokwoo standing behind him. Slowly, he got up and stood across from the taller.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Seokwoo asked, his voice gentler in comparison to before. Juho remained silent at the question, focusing his attention on a nearby bush. When he didn’t receive an answer, the taller asked another question. “How long?” The older mumbled out a small “since 2017” in hopes that Seokwoo wouldn’t be able to hear it, but luck really wasn’t on his side.

“2 years?!” he exclaimed, his jaw hanging wide open. Juho nodded his head meekly. “Then why did you avoid me?” The older male’s face burned brighter than it was before.

“It’s stupid, really,” he said.

“I thought it was because I kissed you and you just wanted to forget about it.” The older male’s head snapped up to look at Seokwoo.

“Are you kidding me?! I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days-“ Something clicked in Juho’s mind and his eyes grew wide in realization. He pointed a finger accusingly at Seokwoo. “You remembered?! You told me that you don’t remember anything from that night.”

“Juju-“

“No, don’t you _Juju_ me right now. You told me “ _oh, I don’t remember anything I was really plastered”_ , well apparently you weren’t- Are you even listening?!” Seokwoo grabbed Juho’s wrist and started dragging him somewhere, to which the older put up a fight. “Let go of me.”

“It’s raining, Juho,” Seokwoo snapped at him, still dragging him by the wrist. “Unless you wanna get scolded by Youngbin for being sick the next day, I suggest we go seek shelter first.” As much as Juho wanted to end the discussion soon, he knew that getting a scolding from Youngbin wasn’t exactly the best thing in the world, so he reluctantly followed where the younger was dragging him to.

They found a gazebo close by and dashed there as fast as their long legs could carry them. When they were finally safe from the rain, Seokwoo let go of Juho’s wrist as they both caught their breath. Juho watched as Seokwoo panted, taking in how beautiful the other was even when out of breath. He got lost in the beauty and nearly forgot that he was actually pissed off at the taller. When he managed to snap out of the trance, he frowned while crossing his arms. “So,” he said. “Tell me. Which part exactly did you forget? The part where we made out or the part where we made out? Let me guess, neither seeing how you remember everything.”

Seokwoo glared at him. “You’re one to talk,” he said. “You obviously remember it, too.”

“Yeah, but I thought that _you_ didn’t, so I didn’t wanna bring it up ‘cause hey, it’s completely normal to talk to your best friend, who also happens to be your crush ,mind you, about how you made out with him even though he doesn’t have feelings for you. Yeah, Seokie, really normal.”

“But I do have feelings for you, though.”

“Yeah, real funny, Seokwoo. Except it’s really not. It’s not fair if you give me fake hope like that, just say that you don’t like me-“ His words were cut short by a pair of lips that were pressed harshly against his own. Unaware of how to respond, he froze for a moment and pushed the other away before he could melt against Seokwoo’s touch. He knew how addicting Seokwoo was, he knew all he needed was a taste to be hooked, so he had to stop himself before he could even get a whiff of the taller. Seokwoo looked at him, dumbfounded by the way he reacted.

“We need to talk first,” Juho breathed out, to which Seokwoo pouted.

“But I wanna kiss you,” he whined. Juho whimpered. It wasn’t fair, Seokwoo knew that the older would instantly give in to him whenever he made cute faces or was just being cute in general.

“God, you’re so needy,” he growled, fisting the front of Seokwoo’s hoodie and pulling him forward to crash their lips together. They were in sync with each other, moving in such a way that proved that they complimented each other, were meant for each other. The way Seokwoo’s face fit nicely in Juho’s hands made it seem like they were moulded just to fit each other, and maybe they were. That didn’t matter to Juho now, though. All he could think of was Seokwoo being in his arms, kissing him while they were both sober. There was no resistance, no hesitation, just him kissing Juho in such a way that only the older understood what he meant. You’re the one that I want, there will never be anyone else, there never was anyone else, I love you. At the realization of those three words, Juho snapped back to reality and very hesitantly pulled away, taking in a panting and red-faced Seokwoo. His lips were swollen and Juho could imagine he was probably in a similar situation, probably worse from all of the hair tugging that Seokwoo had done.

“We really need to talk first,” he said while his eyes followed Seokwoo’s neck when he threw his head back, trying his best to not be tempted to just place a kiss there.

“But Juju-“ Seokwoo tried to protest but was cut off by Juho putting his finger on the younger male’s lips to shut him up.

“No, we need to talk,” he said sternly. “Why didn’t you talk to me about it if you thought I knew about us kissing?” Seokwoo shrugged.

“I dunno,” he answered honestly. “Maybe because I was scared that you wouldn’t wanna talk to me again after that.” That earned him a smack on the head from Juho. He looked at the older with wide eyes while the other glared at him.

“You dumbass!” he exclaimed. “You know that no matter what dumb shit that we end up doing together, I would never stop talking to you. Even when you accidentally walked in on me being naked I still talked to you. I could never stop talking to you, you’re my best friend.”

“Damn, your ass looked really good that day. Does it still look that good?”

“Seokie.” The taller wrapped his arms around his best friend’s waist and pulled him closer.

“I know, I know,” he said in a very gentle tone. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I was just so scared of losing you.” Sighing, Juho leaned up and kissed the corner of Seokwoo’s mouth.

“It’s fine. I’m at fault, too. I thought I had made my feelings very loud, though.”

“You probably were, but I was too dumb to realize it.”

“So we’re just a couple of dumbasses.” Seokwoo hummed.

“I love hearing the word couple, but the dumbass part, not so much.”

“You deserve it, though.”

“Hey.” Juho stuck out his tongue to Seokwoo teasingly.

They spent some time there, talking about what they had missed about each other’s lives, catching up on everything that they had done during the period of time that they weren’t talking to one another all that much. After the rain had cleared up, they went back to their dorm hand in hand. They were greeted with a few worried faces, and that one member that had a huge smirk on his face. Juho rolled his eyes at Taeyang. “Shut up, I know you wanna glower in my face about how you were right, but shut it,” he said, using his free hand to point accusingly at the younger. Taeyang merely raised his hands as though surrendering.

“I didn’t say anything,” he replied, though the smirk on his face told Juho that he was about to say something.

“You guys good?” Youngbin asked, concern laced in his words. Seokwoo lifted their linked hands with an ecstatic look on his face.

“Let’s just say his ass is mine and mine alone,” he said, giving a light tap on Juho’s ass, making the other yelp. The other members let out a sigh of relief while Juho glared at Seokwoo, but giving up in the end when he saw the giddy look on his face. He couldn’t help but stare at the taller fondly.

It hit them both that they were both idiots when the other members had no efforts in trying to wrap their head around the fact that they were a thing now. It had been so obvious to the others, hell, they even tried to tell them that- Taeyang apparently had sent Seokwoo Juho’s water skiing video 2 years ago in an attempt to pull out Seokwoo’s confession- but they were both just too blind to see it. And for that they had to laugh every time they thought about it in the many years that came.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this ! ! i hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i had fun writing it, tho the ending is a little bit meh. i'm currently working on a juho fic so i might be uploading that one next. i'll see you guys in my next upload :]


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